I Wish I Were Not Born

I walked on tiptoed. Dad must be home now. How my heart bleed when Mom left him for abroad. No amount of mom's explanation could appease my anger. Why did she do this? My poor Dad! now I see every reason why he has to come home late, why he has to drink. He must, I even told myself. He deserves to give way to his emotions.

I walked quietly and slowly turned in the door knob. The greatest secret unfolded before my naked eyes. I caught Dad in a very compromising situation with our driver. My whole world shattered; my knees trembled. Discovery even made it more shocking. Dad is a homosexual! What is this? I shouted.

I wish I were not born. Damn you! And I ran as fast as I could. That was many years ago.

I wanted to end my life. I was like a little kitten with no one to turn to. Helpless and confused I started to pick up every piece of my broken life. The father with whom I should feel secure and protected failed me a hundred times. He did not have the arms to protect me from harm. Instead he brought me shame and untold misery. The mother whom I need to embrace to strengthen me and love me left. Parents, why do you fail me? Where else can we find solace in our dark moments of despair? What have you done?